I am a dreamer ... Am I a dreamer?

When I was a little girl I loved to ride in the car. I loved to be with my family and just sit with one another. I loved to gaze out the window and let my mind wander and my heart dream. I was so full of dreams that in an unguarded moment you could have probably seen them dancing in my eyes. In my dreams I could do anything. I could be anything - and in the window seat of our ford I believed them, I believed in myself.

I still have dreams you know, that is why I still like riding in cars and will often hand the keys over when given the chance. But I am different now - I will never let my eyes become unguarded and allow you to really see them. I am sorry for that, but it is the truth. They are now my sacred fantasies. Dreams are attainable - fantasies are whimsical nonsense to be pushed aside when reality pulls us out of our stolen moments. That is the adult in me talking. Talking good, strong sense...

I once was briefly mentored by a man who told me dreams are sketches of God's purpose in our lives. No dream is trivial because any true dream was put in us by God. And yet, it is so hard! I have responsibilities, people - things I do affect people and longer I live on this planet the more people I will affect. I can't just stop what I am doing and go run after dreams. Can I? Tell me I can....

I don't know - I am writing this in a state of confusion, a place I find myself in more often than I would like to admit. I am going to go to bed in a few minutes, and tomorrow I will smile and be nice. But in those few minutes between here and there where I find myself in the seat of a car - I will dream my secret dreams. And try to see the line between a dream and a fantasy -