I have a new thought. And reader beware, it is not just any old 'new' thought. This thought is quite substantial. It is a big, wild, scary new thought. This new thought completely amazes me, it fits in my brain like a perfect puzzle piece, and no amount of over looking or ignoring seems to be dislodging it. I find my new thought - well, terrifying. It is the type of thought I feel will be shut down, and/or swept under the rug by others and so with my emotionally stunted logic, I am attempting to shut it down and/or sweep it under the rug before anyone else can.
But today - casually as I was doing dishes the new thought started to make noise inside its perfectly fitted place in the back of my brain. The more I ignored new thought, the louder it became. So I did the unthinkable - the unwise, I spent some time pondering the new thought. I thought about it, I turned it to the left, to the right, even upside down. And in this small amount of time new thought started to grow. It grew and grew until I realized new thought had worked its way down into my heart. And this can only mean one thing - trouble.
Really, the truth about this new thought is it is daring and fragile all at the same time. It requires both courage and humility - two things which I am usually in want of. But, whenever I dare to think about this new thought, it makes my heart race, my blood pumps a little faster, my stomach dances with butterflies. This new thought tickles my soul.
And thats it. That is as far as I am with new thought. My dishes are still dripping in the sink. I am not sure if I should take this wonderfully frightening new thought and hide it under my pillow - only to be thought of in the darkness of a sleepless night. Or if I should ponder it some more and let it grow into some sort of action within me.
I don't know - I know what I would tell others in this situation - but I am not others, I am me. And personal advice from your own person never seems to have the same effect.
So I will leave now, possibly to wrestle with new thought and finish those dishes...
Friday, September 19, 2008
A 'new' thought
Posted by Erica R at 11:04 AM
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3 comments:
Erica, you've written something new! I'm so excited. I am also excited about this new thought that is growing and stretching inside your head and your heart. Perhaps I am not the only one who should take on the name of Abe. Love you. Fern
New thoughts are exciting. I hope that it is stretching what you thought possible for yourself, and infusing you with the joy of possibility. If you're in the 'Peg, and would like to chat - I'd love to meet up (or just have you come over so my crazy crawler can play in peace!).
Blessings.
I wonder what is going on in that wonderful brain of yours! I'm glad you posted again. How is Ps. 27 treating you these days?
Thinking of you and praying for you.
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