A 'new' thought

I have a new thought. And reader beware, it is not just any old 'new' thought. This thought is quite substantial. It is a big, wild, scary new thought. This new thought completely amazes me, it fits in my brain like a perfect puzzle piece, and no amount of over looking or ignoring seems to be dislodging it. I find my new thought - well, terrifying. It is the type of thought I feel will be shut down, and/or swept under the rug by others and so with my emotionally stunted logic, I am attempting to shut it down and/or sweep it under the rug before anyone else can.

But today - casually as I was doing dishes the new thought started to make noise inside its perfectly fitted place in the back of my brain. The more I ignored new thought, the louder it became. So I did the unthinkable - the unwise, I spent some time pondering the new thought. I thought about it, I turned it to the left, to the right, even upside down. And in this small amount of time new thought started to grow. It grew and grew until I realized new thought had worked its way down into my heart. And this can only mean one thing - trouble.

Really, the truth about this new thought is it is daring and fragile all at the same time. It requires both courage and humility - two things which I am usually in want of. But, whenever I dare to think about this new thought, it makes my heart race, my blood pumps a little faster, my stomach dances with butterflies. This new thought tickles my soul.

And thats it. That is as far as I am with new thought. My dishes are still dripping in the sink. I am not sure if I should take this wonderfully frightening new thought and hide it under my pillow - only to be thought of in the darkness of a sleepless night. Or if I should ponder it some more and let it grow into some sort of action within me.

I don't know - I know what I would tell others in this situation - but I am not others, I am me. And personal advice from your own person never seems to have the same effect.

So I will leave now, possibly to wrestle with new thought and finish those dishes...